I married you for life, but not for lunch

Let’s explore the “I married you for life, but not for lunch” phenomenon.

Nearly a quarter of couples admit they haven’t talked about what their lives might be like in retirement. Relationships and patterns of behavior become fixed over the years. Everything is fair game for reappraisal. You may need to renegotiate roles. You will have a lot of time together.

Our assumptions of what our partner might want and what we might want may be totally different things.

Who should retire first or should we retire at the same time? Where will we live? Do we share interests? Do we want the same things? How shall we spend our money? Will one of us feel invaded if we’re used to having the house to ourselves all day? Will going out with our own friends threaten our partner’s sense of togetherness? How will you cope if something happens to him/her?

These are the kinds of questions and discussions that I explore with clients, especially if they are doing couples retirement coaching.